Just some guy…

1 You can take one record to a desert island for the rest of your life – what would it be?
I’d have to make a mix-tape of all my favourite DG songs… sad, but true

2 Who is your favourite artist?
Let’s put Jackson Pollock and Tracey Emin in a ring and have them slog it out.

3 Favourite chord?
C

4 Can God invent a rock that he cannot lift?
Can Santa Claus fart the colours of a rainbow?

5 Who did you last vote for in an election?
The good guys

6 Favourite fiction writer?
Kerouac’s not fiction is he? So I guess I’d have to say Dostoyevsky. With Hunter S Thompson a close second (pending a drugs test).

7 If you could invite 5 people to dinner (dead or alive) who would they be?
Paul Burnout on Bobby Fig Mint’s shoulders with one of those big jackets on (that’s one), Davyd Betchkal (two), Kris Baranovic (three), Becky Nosiara (four), Jon Fink with Hannah McLean in his pocket (five), and Tim Schram via live satellite link-up (just to keep the chain-saw at bay once the drinks start flowing).

8 What pisses you off?
Political apathy, little people with big umbrellas hogging the pavement, impatient people in queues virtually butt-fucking you, fascism racism homophobia, pretty much everything on my television, the Americanization of the UK’s workplace (brainstorming, process charts, and team-building… fuck off!), ghost-hunters and psychic charlatans, not being able to smoke… I’ll stop there. I’m getting pissed off just listing them.

9 What’s the best song you’ve ever written?
The Sometimes Song or Marvin The Mollusk

10 One wish – what would it be?
World peace every time

11 Favourite band?
The Stone Roses

12 3 websites worth checking out?

http://www.cozyhomerecords.com

http://www.cllct.com

http://theuticaflowercompany.wordpress.com

13 Posters above your bed when you were a teenager?
The Stone Roses (Fools Gold cover), a Dali print, and Juliette Lewis with her mouth open

14 When was the last time you cried with laughter?
Writing the “Moon-Mission” dialogue with Simon Piler

15 If you could learn and play one instrument, what would it be?
Sitar or glock

16 Preferred mode of travel?
On foot

17 Shuffle your iPod – what are the first five songs that play?
Neutral Milk Hotel ‘Ghost’
The Wheelies ‘The Boy Who Ate The World’
Warchalking ‘Diving Bell’
The Orange Drop ‘Fuck I’m A Rolling Stone’
Handwithlegs ‘Stumped’

18 Snowballs, snowmen, or sledging?
Snowballz

19 Best gig you’ve ever been to?
I have never been to a good gig – Brian Jonestown Massacre was okay, so I guess it wins by default

20 What’s the most embarrassing record in your collection?
Maria McKee ‘Show Me Heaven’ is pretty fucking bad

21 Favourite drink?
Tea, coffee, diet coke

22 Drug of choice?
There was a time I would have said ‘LSD’, but nowadays it’s the slightly less psychedelic double combo of caffeine and nicotine.

23 If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
Something busy. A weasel maybe.

24 And if you were a colour, what colour would you be?
Communist Red

25 Are you good at any sports?
I think I’m good at pretty much any sport. Except rugby. I fucking hate rugby. I grew up in a family of people who play sport with no real books and no real music, so that stuff is in my genes – it’s just that I choose to ignore it.

26 Last book you read?
‘How To Write A Novel’ – research to work out how not to write a novel.

27 First thing you think when you get up in the morning?
Shit this life is relentless, where are my glasses, and fuck I need a cigarette.

28 Last thing you think when you go to bed?
I love my life, oh shit here comes another idea, and fuck I need another cigarette.

29 Describe your music in three words?
Glad it’s over

30 If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be?
Someone who lives close enough to go to a Real Burnouts gig

31 Favourite comedian?
Bill Hicks

32 What colour is your front door?
Brown with seagull poop

33 Favourite film?
Life Aquatic

34 A quote that stuck in your head?
‘All life is a circle, therefore it is the going there, not the getting there that counts’

35 Favourite subject at school?
English or Art

36 Which actor/actress would play you in a film about your life?
That guy from “American Pie” apparently

37 What music makes you want to dance?
Madchester

38 What should they write on your gravestone?
Write what you want, it’s not like I’ll be around to notice

39 How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
Dylan couldn’t even answer that one

40 When did you first start writing your own songs?
15

41 What’s the weirdest thing you ever saw?
Some guy and his “multi-coloured boabey” silhouetted against a square orange moon

42 Favourite smell?
Petrol

43 Favourite sound?
The sea

44 Swings, roundabout, chute, or climbing frame?
Depends how drunk I am – sober I’d go for swings, drunk I’d stagger in the direction of the climbing frame

45 Who is your favourite Beatle?
Back to John again

46 Point us in the direction of a band one of your friends is in?
Ah too many. Click the links under The Utica Flower Company on the right…

47 A YouTube video the world should watch?
The one with the little fat kid on the rollercoaster always make me laugh

48 Cats or dogs?
Spiders

49 If you had to join the circus what would you be?
Plate spinner

50 Favourite book?
Jack Kerouac’s ‘Selected Letters’

51 Have you ever been on TV?
Once, aged 15 talking about sex

52 Have you ever been arrested?
No, but I’ve made some spectacular getaways

53 What songs do you (would you) sing at karaoke?
I sang “Common People” in a working man’s pub once. It just about started a riot. The only other one I’ll do is “Venus In Furs” just to lighten the mood.

54 Have you ever seen a ghost?
I’ve seen Ghostbusters about a thousand times

55 How do you like your coffee? Or would you prefer a wee cup of tea?
Intravenously fed to me via a drip for 18 hours a day. Black or white, as long as there’s plenty of sugar. Tea in the evenings.

56 Punk or Raver? Mod or Goth? Hippy or Beatnik? If you had to label yourself, what gang would you be in?
Geeknik

57 What’s the worst job you ever had?
Call centres just about killed me.

58 What’s brown and sticky?
Oh come on, it’s a stick of course…

59 Do you have any recurring dreams?
One weird one where I’m moving into a new house. There is always some kind of tunnel or old door I discover that leads into the depths of the building where there is a secret theatre and stage that nobody knows about. And then I wake up.

60 How many records have you released and which is your favourite?
21 I think. Probably between “I Do Not Currently Own A Spaniard (Mine Died)” and “Tigermouse”

61 Where in the world would you like to go?
Back to my cloud coffin

62 Favourite kind of cloud?
Ones that meander across the sky and look a little like something else ever changing

63 Favourite line from a song?
‘I want to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free silhouetted by the sea circled by the circus sands with all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves may I forget about today until tomorrow’

64 What’s the music scene like where you live?
Scottish folk. Sad old men in bars.

65 Who would make up your dream band? (one singer, one guitarist, one bassist, one drummer, plus one extra)
Jane Gilmore, Bobby Rogan, Jon of the Atom, Paul Burnout, Simon Piler on sound effects and choreography

66 Favourite cover art?
I like the early Stone Roses singles

67 Early bird or night owl?
Twit twoo

68 Which of the seven sins are you?
Sloth… just show me the branch and I’ll mooch around on it all day dreaming stuff up.

69 Three words people use to describe you?
Full of shit

70 You have ten minutes left to live, what would you do?
Probably try and catch up on some sleep

71 Do you support any sports teams?
Arabs

71 What do you want for Christmas?
A sackful of time and a Utica Flower Company t-shirt

72 Favourite track from all the Daydream Generation compilations?
How can I possibly choose? The two most played tracks on my iPod are The New Wave Dirt ‘Ghost in a Photograph’, and Becky N ‘Autopilot’.

73 Can you cook up a storm in the kitchen?
With bolts of lightning and everything.

74 What’s the first thing you remember?
Going to the hospital to see my little brother when I was two. I remember eating all the grapes that we’d brought my Mum and washing my feet in a little pool in case of verrucas. No wait, that sounds like the swimming pool. I’m confused. Why would I be eating grapes at a swimming pool?

75 How do you go about writing a song?
Fumble around in search of a melody. Then desperately write some words down at the last minute on the back of scrap paper for something to sing.

76 When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
Just some guy in glasses.

77 What’s the best advice you were ever given?
To cure hiccups: breathe in REALLY slowly until your lungs are full, hold your breath for as long as possible, and breathe out REALLY slowly. Not so easy when drunk.

78 Do you smoke?
I’m trying not to. But I’m going to go for one now.

79 Tell us a joke?
See Q58.

80 Pick a card, any card?
The 8 of Diamonds

81 One question you’ve never been able to answer?
‘Smally, where exactly are you going with this?’

82 If you could travel back in time, when and where would you go?
First live reading of Ginsberg’s ‘Howl’

83 Favourite philosopher?
Although I don’t particularly dig the content, I like where Spinoza was coming from. And old Santa Marx obviously.

84 Do you have any pets?
Not since our pet rock ‘Bibby’ got swept out to sea.

85 Ever climbed a mountain?
Quite a few. I love the pointlessness of it and the feeling of being so exhausted above the clouds that you can’t even be arsed to appreciate the view when you get there. I also like diving around in untouched snow fields up them while singing Beatles songs.

86 What do you do in the real world to pay the rent?
Daydream at the window

87 Self-diagnosis: any psychiatric disorders?
Where to begin?

88 Favourite poet?
Bob Dylan

89 What wouldn’t you do for a million dollars?
Too many things to list here

90 Adrenalin junky?
Ahahahaha… it’s a much more meaningful form of adrenalin that I’m into.

91 What bands have you been in?
Fade, The Wheelies, Kaleidonauts, The Painted Shuts, The Utica Flower Company, Dead Canaries

92 Favourite board game/computer game?
RISK/ProEvo

93 What kind of recording set-up do you have? Equipment etc.
Crap mic, crap pc, free software, and crap headphones

94 A character you love from a book or a film?
The Scottish Dad from ‘So I Married An Axe Murderer’

95 Who is the sexiest person in the history of the world?
Assuming Tracey is still standing after the Pollock fight, she’d be back in the ring against Nico.

96 If you could genetically fuse two animals together what would they be? And what would it make?
A fox and a duck. It would be called a dox.

97 What kind of drunk are you?
Argumentative, mischievous, and clumsy. A terrible combination.

98 What was the first record that really blew your mind?
The Stone Roses s/t on a bus in Belgium

99 What are your musical plans for the future?
Keep the mic firmly locked in the attic

100 Got some websites of your own we can visit?

http://theuticaflowercompany.wordpress.com

CATEGORIES:COZY HOME, INTERVIEWS, QUIXODELIC RECORDS, THE WHEELIES